Tracks Of Your Tears (#16)

Welcome to blog number 16 from your favourite hamster.

Unless you own a hamster then I’m probably your second favourite. Actually you may also like Richard ‘Hamster’ Hammond.

Let’s just say I’m in your Top 10 hamsters and leave it there.

So this is all about songs.

Great songs.

Great songs to me anyway.

Songs that I think 99% of people would skip if they had bought or downloaded them in the first place. But then what was the point of obtaining them if you’re only going to skip them? (Duh)


Not only do I proudly own these largely disowned tracks but I often do the opposite of skipping them and play them back to back (to back again sometimes. Crazy).
Obviously I would like to know what songs you feel this way about so please feel free to comment below or do it on Twitter somewhere.



Will Young – Light My Fire


If you had said back in 2002 that you liked this song you would’ve been mocked.

If you said it was better than the original by The Doors the ghost of little Jimmy Morrison would’ve appeared and literally lit you on fire. Which is why I never admitted it back then, but I will now.
Maybe it’s because I wasn’t around in the day of The Doors so missed it first time round that makes this laid back and slightly camp version preferable to me. Maybe it’s just because I shared Will Youngs journey through Pop Idol to defeat the likes of Gareth Gates and Darius “Lot of love in this room” Danesh that makes me like it more.
Either way, ‘Leave Right Now’ was, and still is, shite.

Not for me

Also the cover of The Long and Winding Road Will Young did with Gareth Gates could be on this list but only the version on the video. Remember it? It was just them surrounded by black singing live (on video) and was much better than the version they released.



You Win Again – The Bee Gees


Surely this shouldn’t be on this list??
The Bee Gees are still ‘cool’ aren’t they? (Or what’s left of them #RIP)
I think this is the forgotten Bee Gees track. How often do you hear it played? It’s normally Stayin’ Alive, Tragedy, Night Fever, Words, More Than a Woman etc.

But unlike the others ‘You Win Again’ is a song with which you can turn the volume up and sing along even though, in true Bee Gees tradition, you can understand a damn word they’re saying.
Also they had a song called ‘Fanny’ too.

Dirty boys




Scatman – Scatman John


Another song that never gets played! I used to sit in front of The Box (The music channel) for ages hoping that someone out there with money to waste on the premium number had rang up to vote for this because, let’s be honest, I was far too tight to do it myself.
For those not in the know Scatman John was a dapper looking balding chap in a suit and trilby with a moustache who, in between spouting coherent lyrics, also had brief seizures that played well on tape.
An example:
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
(I’m the Scatman)
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
He wasn’t just a one hit wonder either. He followed ‘Scatman’ with ‘Scatmans World’ which was basically the same thing.

Oh, I just found out he died in 1999!
Bit pissed off now.

I’d say I’ll miss him but he’s been dead 18 years without me noticing

I know what’ll cheer me up..



We Built This City – Starship


80s GOLD!

It’s got everything you’d want from a track including a catchy tune, memorable lyrics, big hair and even a brief traffic report smack in the middle of it.

And the video is cheesier than a Dairylea display on the cheese counter at Farmer Cheesemans farm shop in Gloucester.
This song is regularly voted as the worst song ever in certain circles which is baffling to me cos it bloody rocks.
Also it featured in the 2011 film ‘The Muppets’ during the Muppets Theatre clean up montage so what more proof do you need??

Not Starship



Rudebox – Robbie Williams


So I can kind of see where people are coming from with this one. When the album was released it was roundly panned and rightly so (though ‘Lovelight’ and 80s cover ‘Kiss Me’ weren’t terrible) but I think the major failing point was the Rudebox video.

Dear God I can’t watch that thing without a bucket.
If you’re into cringy things like ‘The Office’ or ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ you still won’t be prepared for the sight of Mr Williams performing like someone’s dad who’s just been pulled out of the audience by Ant and Dec because he pretends he’s Dr Dre when he’s cooking tea.

Watch him rap in his shiny black tracksuit (that saw a record number of suicides in the Adidas PR department) while breakdancers silently cry doing the caterpillar having realised this wasn’t the big break they thought it’d be.

That said, I really like playing it driving along in the sun, so swings and roundabouts.


When You Believe – Leon Jackson


Hands up who remembers this song? Yeah only a couple. This was the winners song from series four of X-Factor.

Wait, was it series four? Series one was won by Steve Brookstein, two was Shayne Ward, three was Leona Lewis, yep four was Leon, five was Alexandra Burke then it all went to tits (appear from Little Mix obvs).
Now I liked Leon from the get go and even though his first live performance was a complete balls up of the Beatles ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ I knew he’d do well and as good as Rhydian Roberts was all series, his version of ‘When You Believe’ couldn’t match the passion and emotion of the Scottish powerhouse.

Rhydian. Not how I remember him

I’d even go so far as to say Leons version was better than the original by Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey. And you all know how much I like Mariah.


I could’ve added more to this list such as Men Without Hats – ‘We Can Dance’ but loads of people like that or even Steve Brooksteins cover of ‘Against All Odds’


but with Leon Jackson and Will Young on here it’s already a bit reality tv heavy.



I’ll save that for my new Steve Brookstein column coming soon in the Metro.


And anywa-


…. Oh no it’s the ghost of Jim Morrison! He’s got Whitney Houston with him and she looks pissed RIGHT off.
I’ll see you next time.




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