Hamster McKenzie: Behind The Wheel

Hello!

 

Forgive me but this blog is a bit of a departure from my usual style.

 
I’m becoming known for having a sense of humour in these blogs and maybe that will remain the case in this one though as I write this I’m not so sure it will.

 
This is, I think, more of a therapy. Though maybe I’ll throw in some nice pictures to cheer it up a bit.

 
I guess I kind of want to explain why I’m Hamster McKenzie and the reason for going through it at this point. (As a side note I really hope this doesn’t sound like I’m pushing an autobiography on you because I think I’m a SOMEBODY. Nothing could be further from the truth.)

 

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An old Mr Sheen advert

The main reason for this is that I think my better half may one day find out about this. I hope she doesn’t. I’m not being dramatic, she’s not an ogre or a bully and she’s not abusive so get that out your heads. She’s the love of my life (along with my kids) but she wouldn’t understand all this at all. She’d see it as a waste of time or that I was having some sad midlife crisis. Again don’t think bad of her it’s just a different mindset. In any case she may be right, who’s to say? But basically if she finds out it’s gonna ruin it for me.

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Some bloke

The fact is I did this for me. I feel I have no real control over anything in life. Yes I have my kids but that’s a shared responsibility and generally Mummy is the ultimate authority.

 
I go to work for someone else and abide by their rules and that’s ok but what can I do to make that better? A different job? What’d be the point? It’s just the same thing wherever you are and in any case there’s never been any role I’ve wanted apart from Ghostbuster and that is a very niche market. I have no drive to climb ANY corporate ladder. The whole workplace scenario is one big grey cloud of depression! I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that.

But it wasn’t this lack of control alone that led me on this hamstery path. That all came about after a chance encounter with a celebrity who I’d befriended through Twitter. He was once in the entertainment business and, long story short, he told me how he thought I was very funny, very dry. He suggested I write a screenplay or something! I said to him I didn’t have it in me but it got me itching to do something.

 

 
I’d always been creative growing up making comics, stories, pretending to have my own radio show etc. As you get older it changes. Around the age of 20 I realised I didn’t have the talent to be a cartoonist and had many rejection letters to back that up along with some poo-pooing my range of greetings cards. It’s always stuck in my throat a bit.

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A young Sandi Toksvig

A few years back I wrote a ‘rock opera’ in the mould of a ‘We Will Rock You’ or even ‘Mamma Mia’ using songs by Muse. I got quite into it, changing lyrics, building the plot etc only for me to one day realise the whole thing was a pointless effort. I binned it.

 
But now I had a full blown entertainer telling me to do something! I didn’t know what until one day on Twitter I noticed someone I was following had a blog. I always though blogs were by teenagers telling you how to use makeup, bake cakes or apply tampons. This one, I discovered wasn’t really like that. It had humour, it had feeling and it had an audience.

 
That was gonna be my new creative outlet! And the best bit was I could be anonymous.

 
I could be awful at it and no-one would know it was me! It’s win win.

 

And I’M in charge.

 
I set up a new Twitter account and signed myself up on WordPress. I picked a name that people would remember and I think that’s been successful.

Chris Moyles knows my name! I tweet his show on occasion and he referred to me the other day as “Our friend Hamster McKenzie!” How great is that? He might not even mean it but he knows my name!

 
More importantly I have hundreds of people following me on Twitter which I’d never thought would happen and an impressive group of friends who regularly support both my profile and my blog. This has given me a real boost.
I’ve gone from seeing out my life knowing exactly how it would pan out (kids grow up and move out while I go to work every day til I die) to having pretty much daily praise for being entertaining and also having hope. Hope (however faint and misguided) that something good could come of my blog. Maybe someone high up somewhere will spot it and give me a column in a paper, magazine or who knows what??

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The Super Mario Bros TV Show. True.

Anyway this gives me a massive gee-up is basically what I’m getting at and if the love of my life should stumble upon this one day hopefully it’ll make her understand my reasons. As it is she probably thinks I’m having an affair (something I’ve never done or never will by the way).

 

Well I hope this wasn’t too boring for you. Like I said it was a therapy for me and normal service will resume shortly.

 

Thanks for listening

 

 

H. McKenzie

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4 thoughts on “Hamster McKenzie: Behind The Wheel

  1. Hammy, I’m glad you’re able to put your reasons and feelings out there of why you are who you are (always a hamster btw!!).
    I definitely think you’ve got a future ahead of you, writing for a paper or something. (Shall we start another campaign but this time tagging in all the papers etc?)

    Your blog is a totally refreshing change from the majority of blogs out there (mine included).
    Your writing style and humour never fails to amuse me, and I never want to stop reading it!

    One day Mrs H McKenzie will find out, or you’ll need to tell her, and I can’t see how she’d be anything but proud of your success! Everyone loves Hammy!

    And Hammy, let’s clear something up – you don’t apply tampons. You insert them. 😄😄

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love your honesty (which is ironic as you’re a man masquerading as a hamster! This has movie written all over it ! ‘Hiding Hamster Mackenzie ~ one mans struggle with life & freedom through anonymity. Coming to a screen near you Autumn 2023!’

    Liked by 1 person

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